


The Door's Open, But The Ride Ain't Free

by JiniZ



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean, Human Impala, M/M, baby is kidnapped, dean swoops in and saves him, post-Mystery Spot, pre-dean going to hell, put upon dean, snarky impala, the trickster's lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:38:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5759779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiniZ/pseuds/JiniZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is going to Hell. Soon after Mystery Spot, The Trickster shows up again. Only this time, it's Dean who needs to learn the lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Door's Open, But The Ride Ain't Free

**Author's Note:**

> [Gifsets and art](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/2015_spn_reversebang/works/5764912) here by [Trickster88](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster88/pseuds/Trickster88). And OMG, I'm so in love with them it's ridiculous. 
> 
>  

You’d really think they’d be used to it by now. With all the weird shit they’d seen over the years, you’d think that Sam and Dean Winchester wouldn’t be phased by this new turn of events. 

You would be wrong. 

The boys were eating breakfast in their hotel room the morning after a run-of-the-mill salt and burn when it happened. They sat at the small table by the window, Dean enjoying his bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, Sam spreading some low fat cream cheese on his bagel while researching their next hunt. 

“So get this,” Sam started. 

“Sammy, please. Can’t a man just enjoy his breakfast sandwich in peace for once?” 

Sam just flashed Bitchface #54 and kept going. “I think there’s a case a few towns over. It sounds like it’s our kind of thing.” 

Dean sighed and dropped his sandwich. “Fine. What is it?”

Just as Sam opened his mouth to explain, someone started pounding on their door. They froze in place, knowing no one should be banging on their door at all, let alone at 8:15 in the morning. 

Dean nodded to Sam and they both reached for their guns. Dean stayed in the middle of the room, barrel pointed at the door, while Sam slunk up to the door frame, gun at his shoulder. Dean was about to ask who was there, but was beaten to the punch.

“Come on, Deano. Let me in!” The voice on the other side of the door was unfamiliar, but smooth. More pounding. “I’m getting tired of being out here all by myself!” 

Sam and Dean exchanged confused looks. “Who’s that?” Sam mouthed to his brother. Dean shrugged. He had no idea. 

“Don’t make me sing, guys. You don’t want that,” the man warned. He knocked on the door again. “Come on.” 

“Who’s there?” Sam asked. 

“It’s me. It’s Baby.” 

The brothers each scrunched their faces in confusion at the other. “Baby?” Dean mouthed. 

As if Sam had a clue. He shrugged non-committedly and made the sturgeon face. 

“I’d let him in if I were you,” said another voice from behind them. 

Sam and Dean swung around, guns pointed at the figure on the far bed with his hands up in surrender. 

“Whoa, there boys. I’m not here to cause any trouble,” The Trickster said. “Well, maybe a little.” With a little flick of his fingers, the hotel room door opened and in strode a tall, thin, handsome man with jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes. 

“It’s about time you let me in,” he said, closing the door. 

Dean trained the gun on the man. “Hey! I’m not gonna -” the man began.

One more flick of The Trickster’s fingers and the man froze on the spot, mid-sentence. 

“What are you doing here?” Dean demanded. “I thought we’d gotten rid of you.”

“Not so much.” The Trickster plucked a Dum Dum from his pocket, unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth. “Mmmm. Root beer.”

“What do you want?” Sam asked, lowering his gun. He tucked it back into his waistband and crossed his arms. He motioned for Dean to put his gun away.

Dean followed suit, trusting Sam’s instinct. “Since when are you friends with this douche?” 

“I’m not. I’m not,” Sam repeated seeing Dean’s expression. He turned to The Trickster. “But there’s got to be a reason you’re here.”

“Always and forever, Sammy.” He waggled his eyebrows at the younger Winchester. “Today’s lesson is for Dean.”

“Me? What do I need to learn?” Sam and The Trickster both flashed bitchfaces at him. “What?”

“Really, Dean?” Sam crossed his arms. “When don’t you need to learn something?”

“Hey!”

The Trickster stood up and put his arm around the frozen man in the room. “Anyone curious about this guy?” He ruffled the man’s hair. “He’s cute, right? Black hair. Blue eyes. Wiry and toned. Yummy.” He squeezed the man’s bicep a little and shivered. 

“Just tell us what’s going on,” Sam said. The Trickster arched his brows. “Please,” Sam added.

“Since you asked so nicely, Sammy.” He ran a finger down the man’s arm and crossed to the breakfast table. “Ugh. Low-fat cream cheese. Live a little, would you, Sam?” He sat and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Dean, you don’t have a whole lot of time left if I’m not mistaken. That cross-roads deal you made is coming due soon.”

Dean swallowed. “You know about that?”

“Of course.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Do you know a way to get him out of it?”

“Whoa. Slow down there, sport. That’s not what I’m here for.”

“Do you know a way to get him out of it?” Sam repeated, firmer and with more authority.

The Trickster leveled his eyes at Sam and sighed. “I don’t. Only the demon that’s holding the contract can break it. I wish I had better news there.”

“Yeah, this day is just awesome,” Dean spat out. 

“We’ll find a way, Dean.” Sam put his hand on his brother’s arm. “I’m not giving up.”

“So. Now. Who’s ready for a little lesson? Dean? What say we light this candle, huh?” The Trickster clapped his hands together and the man who called himself Baby unfroze.

“ - gonna hurt you, man. I love you,” Baby finished. 

“Whoa! Dude! I don’t even know you!” Dean sputtered and turned back to The Trickster. “Who the hell is this?”

The Trickster smiled brightly. “That, Deano, is Baby.”

“Baby wh -” Dean’s eyes widened comically “No. No you didn’t.” He rushed to the door and flung it open. He stopped short just outside the threshold, frantically searching the parking lot. “No, no, no, no, no! Where is she?” He flew back inside and aimed straight for The Trickster, face contorted in rage, yanking him up off the chair by his lapels. “Where is she?” 

For his part, The Trickster remained calm despite a super pissed-off Dean Winchester spitting words into his face. “She’s right there, Dean. Perfectly safe.”

Dean let go of one of the lapels and angrily pointed to Baby. “That! Is not Baby!”

“I totally am,” Baby said. “And I gotta tell you, it feels pretty good to have legs. Feels good to stretch them out. I’m kind of intrigued by the hair, too. I didn’t think it’d be this luxurious.” He ran a hand through the black strands on his head and winked at Dean. 

Dean spun around to face Baby. “Baby is not a dude! Baby is a girl!”

“Dean, I’m a muscle car with a 327 under the hood and a four barrel carburetor. You want a girl, go get a Prius.” 

Sam snickered. “He makes sense, Dean. I’m pretty sure he’s the Impala.”

“Of course I’m Baby. Look at me! I’m gorgeous!” Baby smoothed his hands down his torso. “All sleek lines, smooth to the touch.” His hands roamed down to his hips and behind him to grip his ass. “And this trunk? Exquisite.”

“Shut up,” Dean barked. “Shut. UP!”

Sam swallowed a laugh and turned back to The Trickster. “So, what is the lesson? What’s the deal here?”

“Dean needs to figure that one out on his own,” The Trickster said. “You and I, Sammy, have another engagement.” He smiled wickedly and snapped his fingers. Both he and Sam disappeared, leaving Dean and Baby alone in the room. 

“SAMMY!” Dean yelled. “Bring him back, you son of a bitch!”

The Trickster popped back again. “Not until you spend some quality time with Baby.” Dean made a move toward him. “I’m not gonna do anything to Sam. I promise. We’re just gonna hang. Like you and Baby. And when you’ve learned your lesson, I’ll bring Sam back.” One more snap and he was gone.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dean yelled at the ceiling. “This is bullshit!”

Baby took a few quick strides and laid down on Dean’s bed. “Careful, Dean. You’re gonna hurt my feelings. I’m beginning to think you don’t want me around.” He pouted beautifully.

“You are not my car,” Dean insisted. 

“Of course I’m Baby. Let me -”

“STOP calling yourself that.” Dean threw his hands up in the air.

“Baby? It’s my name. You named me.”

“No, I named my car Baby. You are not my car.”

Baby reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out three Legos: yellow, blue, and red. “Look familiar?” 

“Legos? No. Why?”

“You shoved them in my vent when you were ten. They still rattle when you turn on the heat.” 

Dean stared at the legos in disbelief. “How do you know that? You can’t know that.”

Baby put the Legos back in his pocket. “The same way I know about the green army man Sam crammed into the ashtray in the back seat. I remember how relieved you were to see me after Bela had me towed. And I remember you starting to teach Sam how to take care of me when you’re...well, you know.” 

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. Baby knew things he shouldn’t know. “Okay. Say I believe you are Baby -”

“Because I am.”

“Any idea why The Trickster would do this to you?”

“You heard him. He said you needed to learn a lesson. Other than that, I got nothing.” 

“And Sam? What does he want with him?”

“Again. You’re talking like I have any more of an idea than you do. I don’t.” 

“Fuck.” Dean plopped down on his bed. 

“Come on. Let’s get out of here. Go for a drive,” Baby said. 

Dean snorted in derision. “Oh, I’m all ears, man. If you’re my car, how are we gettin’ anywhere?”

Baby rolled his eyes dramatically. “Dean, how many cars have you jacked in your life? Twenty? Thirty? I’m fairly confident you can do it again.”

“Yeah, but there were specific reasons for that. Not just going out for a joy ride. I don’t want to be that dick.” He really didn’t. But if he didn’t, he’d be stuck in the motel room all day. He looked over at Baby and saw his eyebrow cocked almost to his hairline. “Okay. Fine. Where are we going?”

Baby smiled widely. “‘Second star on the right and straight on ‘til morning.’” 

“Did you just Star Trek VI me?” 

“It works, doesn’t it?”

Dean shook his head, resigned. “Yeah. Come on, man. Let’s get out of here.”

~oOo~

Momentarily disoriented, Sam drew his gun and quickly scanned his surroundings in an attempt to figure out where The Trickster had zapped him. Nothing appeared ready to fight him, so he lowered his gun and took in the room.

To say it was opulent, would be an understatement. The first thing he noticed was the view from the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over an ocean. He couldn’t be certain which one it was, but it looked pristine, as if no one had trod on it before.

“Close, Sam,” The Trickster said from behind Sam. “See, the nice thing about being a Trickster is that I can whip up pretty much any reality I want to. What you’re seeing is Hawaii, Oahu, the north side of the island, about a thousand years ago. More or less.” He went to the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He shook an empty glass in Sam’s direction.

“Sure,” Sam said. “What are we doing here?” He sat down on the stool as The Trickster poured him a drink. “Why are you doing this?”

The Trickster took a long pull on his glass. “You are taking a break. That’s what we’re doing here. As for why? Why do I do anything?”

“You said Dean needed to learn a lesson.” 

“I did, and he does.” When Sam furrowed his brow, The Trickster continued, “I know what you’re thinking, and he does need to learn it. Baby is just the perfect person to help him get there.”

Sam smiled. “I can’t believe I’m about to agree with you, but I do. She’s -”

“He’s.”

“He’s probably the one thing that knows Dean better than I do. Still, making the Impala a guy? Yeah, that’s not gonna make Dean uncomfortable. At all.” He chuckled to himself.

“Let’s face it, if I made Baby a woman, he’d try to get in her pants before anything else.”

“You’re probably right.” Sam swirled the liquid in his glass. He didn’t look up when he quietly said, “Thank you,” to The Trickster. 

“Thank me? For what? Giving you a vacation? My pleasure, Sammy.” 

“Don’t call me that.” The Trickster lifted his hands in resignation. “No. I mean for the lesson you taught me. It was harsh. Beyond harsh. But I’ll - get by when Dean is - gone.” Sam drained his glass in one go and indicated that he wanted a refill.

The Trickster refilled Sam’s glass slowly. “I wish I could tell you I knew how to get Dean out of the contract, kiddo. I really do. I like you.” Sam whipped his head up. “Guys. I like you guys,” The Trickster clarified.

Sam smirked. “Don’t worry. I like you, too.” 

The Trickster hadn’t blushed quite so hard in millenia.

~oOo~

Dean and Baby drove for a while and ended up two towns over from where they started. They sat at the local greasy spoon, Dean devouring a double bacon cheeseburger with a side of frings (half fries, half onion rings) and the biggest chocolate milkshake the diner had. He’d been eyeballing the rotating pie display since they got in.

“Jesus, Dean. The pie isn’t going anywhere.” Baby sat in the booth with his back to the wall, one leg bent on the seat. He picked at Dean’s frings, occasionally earning him a smack on the hand. 

“You never know, man,” Dean said, his mouth full of burger. “Gotta take what I can get while I still can.” He took a long pull on the milkshake as he checked out their waitress. He tilted his head in her direction looking for approval from Baby. 

Baby rolled his eyes. “Yes. I get it. You want to get laid.” The waitress perked up and snuck a look at the two ridiculously good looking men in her section.

Dean choked on the milkshake. “Could you say it a little louder? I don’t think she heard you.” 

“Something wrong?” He held his hand up to flag the waitress down. “Excuse me, miss? My friend here would like to get laid. Can you help him out?” He turned back to Dean. “Better?”

The waitress smiled and chewed on her pen, but when Dean said, “Dammit, Baby,” her eyes went wide. 

Baby laughed. “I liked you better when you were a car,” Dean grumbled, throwing fry at him. 

Baby pouted. “I’m crushed. I’m amazing no matter what form I’m in.” Dean rolled his eyes. “You ready to talk yet,” Baby asked, “or are you still avoiding the Impala in the room?”

“AP.”

“AP?”

“After pie.”

~oOo~

The Trickster snapped them a change of clothes, and they sat on the beach in wooden chairs, wearing board shorts, each with a drink in their hand. 

“I shouldn’t be enjoying this,” Sam said sipping his beer. 

“Yes, you should,” The Trickster said. “You’ll be back to reality as soon as Dean learns his lesson. I doubt I’ll let you remember this anyway so you don’t guilt trip yourself.”

Sam sat up. “You’d do that? Wipe my memory?”

“Probably. I mean Dean doesn’t remember all of his deaths, right?” The Trickster swirled his drink before taking a sip. He glanced at Sam and saw the taller man’s face fall. “You’re the one that needed the lesson, not Dean, so you’re the one who remembers it.”

“Yeah. I get it. I do. It’s still kind of an open wound, you know?” 

The Trickster placed a hand on Sam’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.”

~oOo~

Dean and Baby sat on the hood of the stolen vintage Camaro staring out at the semi-secluded lake they’d found on the way back to the motel. They’d been silent for a solid ten minutes before Baby tired of it. “Dean -”

“Almost.” He really didn’t want to talk at all. The more he tried to wrap his head around this guy being his Baby, the less he wanted to talk. He’d used his tried and true method of humor and deflection to put off having to talk, but he knew he’d have to sooner or later. If The Trickster really did give Baby life, Dean internally shuddered at the memory of the things he’d done in him. Her. Baby. Whatever. He debated whether or not he need to apologize.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Baby started. 

“Oh, do you now?” Dean side-eyed Baby with a smirk. 

“You want to bolt. You want to ask questions, but you don’t want to have a chick-flick moment. On the other hand, you don’t want to ask questions, but you do want answers. Sound about right?” 

Dean considered Baby’s words. “Not bad. You gonna give up anything, or are you gonna make me ask it?” 

“You gotta ask.” 

“Of course I do.” Dean snorted slightly. “So, if I want to make certain you’re my car -”

“Baby.”

“If I want to make sure you’re Baby, can you tell me something only I would know?” Cliched as it may be, Dean needed to know, even if knew deep down that The Trickster probably thought of everything. “First time I drove the Impala?”

Baby smiled at the memory. “You were eleven. John caught flak from the hotel manager who’d caught him leaving you and Sam alone one night, so he took you along on a hunt which didn’t go as he’d planned. He’d barely made it back to me before he passed out. Sam was asleep in the back seat and when John collapsed, you drove us all back to the motel.”

“That it?” 

“You were scared. It was probably the only time you’d been careful with me.”

“Hey! I’m always careful with you!” Baby snorted. “I am!”

“Well, let’s just think about this, shall we? I seem to remember being possessed by a Woman in White and you shooting out my windshield -”

“Because she possessed you.”

“Immediately followed by being crashed into a house -”

“That was Sam.”

“Another ghost messed with my engine -”

“Molly couldn’t help that. She didn’t know.”

“I was towed, just because -”

“Fucking Bela.”

“And the pièce de résistance? Seventeen times, Dean.” Dean looked confused. Baby dropped his voice. “You were so angry and filled with grief and guilt. You gave me all you had that day.”

Dean dropped his head and nodded solemnly. “After that circus Sam and I worked. The rakshasa.”

Baby nodded. “That’s the one.”

“I wish you could have seen Sam on that job, man. Clowns, you know. After all this time, he’s still scared of clowns.”

“What happened when you came back to Bobby’s?”

“You mean when Sam told me I wasn’t dealing with Dad’s death? I picked up a tire iron and smashed your trunk.” 

“Seventeen times.”

“Is that how many it was?” 

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry. I was -”

“Angry. I get it. You needed something to hit, and I was right there. Although, why you couldn’t have picked out any other car in Bobby’s junkyard -” Dean chuckled. “I know. I was convenient. And a reminder of what you’d lost.”

Baby rested his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean looked at it and cocked an eyebrow at it before looking at Baby. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“I think you just forgave me.”

Baby rolled the entire upper half of his body along with his eyes as he re-crossed his ankles. “Jesus. You would think that.” 

“That’s totally what you said.” Dean nudged Baby with his elbow.

Baby smiled crookedly. “Yeah, yeah. It kind of is. You take care of me. Always have.”

Dean looked down again. “Well, you’re an awesome car.” 

Baby placed his palm on Dean’s cheek and gently forced Dean to look at him. “And you, Dean Winchester, are an awesome owner. Thank you.” And with that, Baby leaned in and kissed Dean softly on the lips.

Much to his surprise, Dean didn’t flinch. He did freeze up, unsure of what to do. Should he kiss his car back? He kind of wanted to, but figured that would be weird. Really weird. Baby was a hot guy - very hot - but this was Dean’s car, and good lord, was he really having that conversation in his head?

“You’re thinking too much,” Baby said against Dean’s lips, kissing him again.

Dean pushed Baby back by his shoulders. “Dude. You’re my car.”

Baby looked offended. “So?”

“So? You don’t think that’s weird? That a couple of hours ago you were a hunk of metal and now you’re human?” Dean fought the panic beginning to rise in his chest. 

“All the more reason to get it on while we still can. The Trickster won’t keep me this way forever, you know.” Baby poked Dean’s chest with his finger and slowly trailed it down his chest, practically daring Dean to stop him. 

Dean swallowed hard but never broke eye contact with Baby. He couldn’t deny that Baby was good looking. Fucking hot, actually. The dark hair and piercing blue eyes which appeared to be rimmed in just a bit of eyeliner. Fuck, he thought. 

“You’re thinking again,” Baby said as he got to Dean’s belt buckle. “You really need to stop that.” He tugged on Dean’s buckle, pulling him forward. Their thighs touched and Baby pushed his hips forward. 

Dean licked his lips. He supposed it was now or never. He grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket, yanking Baby into himself. Just as he was about to close the distance and kiss his car, Baby was gone and Dean was left alone. “Really,” he yelled at the sky. 

~oOo~

When Dean got back to the motel, he half expected to see the Impala parked in front of their room, the entire morning nothing but a really weird dream brought on by too many jalapeno poppers the night before. 

No such luck.

No car. No Sam. No Trickster. 

Dean flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling, blinking at the thoughts that he successfully avoided by singing along to the radio on the ride back. He’d kissed his car. He’d kissed. His car. As if his life could get any weirder. 

The Trickster had brought Baby to life. Had Baby always been sentient or was it The Trickster’s way of fucking with Dean’s head? Probably the latter, but when everything went back to normal, he’d always wonder what Baby would think of what he was doing. Maybe he could ask The Trickster to let Baby talk to him somehow. 

Jesus, what was wrong with him? He had four months left on his contract and he was worrying if he’d able able to talk to his freaking car. He should be going out, drinking heavily, getting into as many bar fights as he could, getting laid as often as possible, not wallowing. 

Dean Winchester did not wallow.

“You’re totally wallowing,” The Trickster said, popping up on Sam’s bed.

Dean jumped up. “Jesus!”

“Trickster, actually,” the god said. 

“Where’s Sam?”

“Safe and sound, I promise. Baby, on the other hand….” The Trickster presented his hand in a flourish. 

“What did you do with him,” Dean demanded. 

“He’ll be fine. You just need to go rescue him. Go be his knight in shining denim.” 

“What are you talking about? Where is Baby?” Dean made a move to The Trickster, but the man disappeared, only to reappear behind Dean.

“You have to play the role you’re given, Dean.” Dean spun around. “Save Baby, have the conversation you need to have with him, and I’ll put everything back where it was.”

“I was about to have that conversation, you dick!”

“No, you were about to fuck. Slight difference.” He sidestepped Dean’s attempt to grab him. “Now, go get your car back.”

The Trickster vanished again, leaving a slip of paper fluttering to the ground in his wake. Dean followed its fall, picking it up when it hit the ground. It was an address. 

Dean was out the door in a flash. 

~oOo~

Baby was tied to an ornate chair, a large metal choke collar around his neck. The collar was attached to chain which stretched to the slender hands of a blonde woman. She tugged on the chain again, causing the spikes to dig into Baby’s neck. He winced and arched up in an attempt to lessen the pain. 

He went from about to kiss Dean to being held and tortured in an instant. He hadn’t a clue who the woman in front of him was, or why she wanted Dean. He wracked his brain trying to remember her, but he was convinced he hadn’t seen her before. Maybe she was some Fatal Attraction crazy Dean hooked up with while Baby was out of commission.

“Look. I don’t know who you are, or what you want with Dean, but this whole torture thing you’ve got going on is kind of hot. In a fucked-up kind of way.” The blonde tugged on the chain again and Baby flinched. “I mean, come on. Really hot. Really fucked up. My kind of fun.”

The woman crawled up the chain, hand over hand, keeping the line taught. “I can do this all night.” She placed a hand over Baby’s and dug her nails into his skin. 

“That kind of tickles,” Baby spat out. “Is that where we’re going with this?”

She stepped back, keeping hold of the chain. She raised her hand and a burst of light shot out of it and into Baby’s chest. He gasped in pain. “Awww. Did that tickle, Baby?” She tugged on the chain before he could catch his breath. “I’m not sure you know who you’re dealing with.”

Gasping for breath, Baby said, “No, I think crazy-ass bitch pretty much covers it.” 

“Let’s try this again. Where’s Dean, Baby?”

“Do you honestly think I’d tell you,” he said.

She jerked on the chain again. That really did not feel good. “I’m only going to ask one more time. Where. Is. Dean.” 

“You think you can scare me. You’d be practically adorable if it weren’t for the whole Hell bitch thing.” One more yank on the chain and Baby muttered. “Fuck.”

“I don’t think you understand me.” She raised her hand again and the chain around Baby’s torso tightened. “You will tell me where Dean is, or you will die.” He gasped, unable to take in much of a breath, but he remained defiant. “Then let’s get this party started.”

~oOo~

“How is he,” Sam asked, turning his head toward The Trickster.

“Hmmm?” The Trickster was face down on the massage table, allowing the masseuse to work her magic on his muscles. 

“Dean. How is Dean?” Sam tried not to sound concerned, but there was a slight waver in his voice.

“Sammy, just enjoy the massage, okay? Jordan and Lane are the best masseuses in the world. Let them do their thing.” 

“I’m trying. He’s okay, right?”

The Trickster sighed. “He’s fine. I swear. I won’t let anything happen to him. And even if something did happen, I’d just bring him back again. I know you want to maximize your time with him before -” He stopped himself. He didn’t want to hurt Sam more, even if he was just going to erase Sam’s memory when this was all over. The Trickster turned his head to face Sam. “I promise. Dean will be just fine.”

Sam nodded and smiled. “You understand why I’m finding it hard to believe you, though, right?” 

“No, I do. I get it.” He stretched his hand out across the space between the massage tables, unsure if Sam would take it. “I like you, Sam. A lot. That first time we met, I was thrown off by you.”

Sam glanced at The Trickster’s outstretched hand and decided to take it. “You’re a god. How is that even possible?”

“Have you seen you?” 

Sam blushed. “I’m not anything special.”

“You, Sam Winchester, are nothing but special.” 

“Thank you -” Sam faltered as he searched for a name. Calling him The Trickster to his face felt a bit like calling The Doctor, Doctor Who to his face.

“Gabriel.”

~oOo~

Dean approached the warehouse where Baby was being held as silently as he could considering the gravel surrounding it. He’d parked the stolen Camaro at the next site over in the industrial park and gone the rest of the way on foot. He crouched down against the building near one of the windows to get a look inside, and his heart sank. Baby was chained to a chair, bloody from torture, only awake enough so the choke collar wouldn’t dig too deep. 

The woman that was in the room with him appeared to be the one keeping him there. Interesting, Dean thought. Dean wondered if The Trickster making Baby’s captor an attractive blonde woman was part of the lesson he needed to learn. Dean shook his head in an effort to clear it. Reading too much into what The Trickster laid out before him would be nothing but trouble. He needed to get in there and save Baby, no matter what. End of story.

He surveyed as much as he could of the building from where he was, but Dean didn’t see an easy way in. He crouched along the side wall and made his way down to the other end of the building where the main entrance was. He looked in the small window and saw a simple reception area with a counter and a wall and door frame behind it. He tried the door, grateful when it opened relatively silently. 

He snuck over to the door and poked his head around the frame. The entire rest of the building was open with a few scattered industrial conveyor dryers made for screen printing. He didn’t see Baby, but the dryers were large enough to obstruct his view. He made his way over to the first dryer to take a better look. His luck didn’t hold.

“Come on out, Dean,” the woman called. “I know you’re there.”

Dean silently cursed both himself and the woman. “What do you want with Baby?”

“I don’t want Baby at all Dean, I want you,” she purred. “Baby was just the way to get you here.”

“Then let him go,” Dean shouted from behind the dryer. 

“Not a chance. Now come on out so I can get a good look at you.” She tugged on the chain and Baby groaned. 

“She’ll just teleport you if you don’t” Baby said. “It’s how she got me here.”

“Not quite,” Dean mumbled to himself. “Look, lady, I don’t know who you are or what you want, but you need to let my Baby go or else I’m gonna rip your lungs out through your navel.”

The woman laughed. “That paints a pretty picture. You’ll never get close enough to do it, though. I’m not sure you know who you’re dealing with here.”

“Evil bitch monster from hell,” Dean and Baby said together.

“Oh, aren’t you two adorable. Practically an old married couple. You need to come out now, Dean. Don’t make me come after you.” 

Dean weighed his options for a moment. Stay where he was and see what the woman would do, or face her head-on. He opted for head-on. He stood, hands in the air. “Okay, fine. Here I am. What now?”

“I just wanted a good look at you before the Hell Hounds came for you,” she said.

“What do you know about that?” Dean asked. The woman’s eyes flashed white. “Lilith.”

“Who says Sam’s the smart one?” Lilith cooed. 

“Is there a point to this?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” Baby said. “I’m gettin’ kinda bored over here.”

“Just having a little fun with you before you head down below. Baby is just an added bonus.” 

“So help me, if you hurt him -”

“Awww, Dean. I’m touched.” Baby arched an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize you had it in you.”

Lilith raised her hand to Baby and hit him with another blast of light, causing him to shout in pain. Dean made a move toward him, but Lilith raised her hand to him stopping him in his tracks. “One more step and you’re next,” she spat at him. “I want to like you, Dean. I really do, but you know, demon and all.” 

“This is it? This is all you want from me,” Dean asked. “To toy with me?”

“Women, right,” Baby joked. “It’s always something.” One more ball of light from Lilith and Baby coughed up blood. 

“Baby!”

“Do you want to save him, Dean? He’s just a car. A hunk of steel and chrome turned momentarily human by The Trickster. You can’t have that much of an attachment to your car.”

That was something to work with. She knew what was going on. She wasn’t the real Lilith. Dean berated himself for thinking she was in the first place. Of course she wasn’t. Dean was probably still back in the motel room enjoying his breakfast with Sam. Fucking Trickster.

“Even if he is just a car, he’s human now, and that means he gets saved,” Dean shot back at her. “That’s how it works.” He searched Baby’s face for some kind of help, some sort of indication of anything that could help Dean defeat her. 

“Awww, Deano. You like me,” Baby said weakly, spitting out blood. “You really like me.” 

“You can’t save everyone, Dean,” Lilith sing-songed. 

Something about those words seemed familiar to Dean, but he couldn’t place why. “Maybe not, but I’m sure as hell gonna save as many as I can.” He shuffled forward a couple of steps still wary of Lilith’s outstretched arm. He glanced at Baby who smiled despite the pain he was in. 

Baby drooped his head a little to the left and at first Dean thought he was passing out, but soon realized he had gestured to the gas line that lead to the dryer behind Lilith. He wondered if he could...probably not, but it was worth a shot. He dove for cover behind the dryer, hoping she wouldn’t be quick enough to catch him in a spell before he landed. 

She wasn’t. He landed behind the dryer and yanked the gas line out of it, thrusting it toward Lilith as he flicked his lighter to life. The flame created shot straight at Lilith, engulfing her. She screamed and *poof* disapparated in an instant. 

“Well, that was easy,” Dean said. 

“Little help,” Baby reminded him.

Dean rushed over to him and looked for a way to undo the collar around Baby’s neck. The chains he was bound with were his secondary concern. It was the spikes that worried Dean more. To his surprise, Dean found the collar was closed with a simple padlock - and the key was already in the lock. He supposed The Trickster wanted him to free Baby easily. Dean shrugged to himself and unlocked the collar, carefully removing it from Baby’s neck and tossing it on the floor. 

“Oh, thank God,” Baby said as the collar came off. He stretched his neck experimentally and winced a little as the wounds pulled open a little more, blood trickling down from some of them. 

“You okay?” Dean asked inspecting Baby’s neck. None of the wounds seemed too bad. He wondered if there would be scratches in the Impala’s paint when Baby turned back. 

“Peachy,” Baby replied. He tugged at the chains. “How about these?” 

Dean gave an experimental yank on the chains to see if they’d fall open as easily as the collar had. No such luck. He scanned the warehouse and his eyes fell on a pair of bolt cutters on the wall directly behind Baby. Dean hurried to grab them and get Baby out of the chair before Lilith showed up again. Dean was certain that she would. 

Chains cut, Dean asked, “Can you walk?”

Baby stood up slowly. “I think I’m okay,” he said. “I feel a little like warm jell-o, but I think I’m good.” He took a few experimental steps while Dean spotted him like a gymnast. “I’m not gonna break, Dean.”

“Just making sure.”

“Let’s just get out of here before that bitch comes back, shall we?” 

“My thoughts exactly.”

~oOo~

“I think your brother may be about to have The Talk he’s supposed to have,” Gabriel said. He and Sam were in bed, the sheet barely covering their naked bodies, hands still entwined.

“You know that, huh?” Sam smiled dopily at Gabriel. Them ending up in bed surprised him more than anyone he was certain. He sure wasn’t going to tell Dean about it.

“I do. He just saved Baby from Lilith -”

Sam sat upright, panic rising. “What? Lilith?”

“Sam. Relax. They were never in any danger, I promise. It was all an illusion. Besides, I made it ridiculously easy to defeat her. When the time comes, you guys aren’t likely to get off that easily. Although, getting me off….”

Sam settled back down into the bed. “Was definitely fun.”

“We probably have time for another round,” Gabriel said, grinning widely. 

“I like the sound of that.”

~oOo~

Dean and Baby made their way back to the hotel, the drive mostly silent. Dean pulled Baby to the bathroom and the first aid kit to take a better look at the marks on his neck. As Dean swabbed the cuts with a cotton ball and some peroxide, Baby winced every once in awhile. “Stop being such a baby. Baby.”

“I told you, I’m fine. I don’t need this,” he complained.

“And I told you, we don’t know how much longer you’re going to be human, so I’m gonna make sure you’re not gonna get an infection. So shut it.” A couple of more dabs with the cotton to make sure he’d gotten all the dirt, and Dean was satisfied. He tossed the cotton ball into the trash.

“You’re worried this’ll fuck with my paint job, aren’t you?” Dean looked away. “You are! Selfish prick,” Baby teased. 

“Shaddup.” 

They were silent as they exited into the main room again, each flopping down on a bed. “We gonna have this talk,” he asked. Dean groaned. “You know we need to.”

“Yeah, I know.” He stared at the ceiling. It would probably go easier if he didn’t have to look at Baby.

When Dean didn’t speak again, Baby started for him. “Your contract is almost up.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re scared.”

Dean swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“You’re worried about Sam.” Dean nodded. “He’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, Dean.” Baby swung his legs around and sat up. “I’m telling you. He will be. I know you think you have to be here to protect him -”

“I should be.”

Baby sighed. “That’s what your father has drilled into your head. Keep Sam safe, no matter what. And you’ve done a hell of a job with that, Dean.” Dean snorted. “You have. He’s become a man you can be proud of.”

“Sammy’s still a kid. And I am proud of him.” 

“Of course you are, but he’s twenty-five. You’d been hunting on your own for what, three years when you were that age?”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“It’s totally the same thing, Dean. You’re just too close to it to see it.”

“What about Lilith?”

“Sam will deal with her. He’s got Bobby. He’s got Ellen and Jo. He’s got twenty-five years of you teaching him how to be the best damn hunter on the planet.” Dean snorted again. “I’m serious. Plus, he’s also got me.”

“Yeah, but we don’t know how long you’re gonna be you, Baby.” Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. “You’re gonna go back to being a hunk of chrome and steel any second now.”

“Probably. But don’t think that I don’t watch out for you, the same way you watch out for me.” 

Dean sat up. “What do you mean?”

“You take care of me, Dean. You keep me running right, you hand wash me weekly, sometimes more than that, you threaten anyone with death at the mere thought of them scratching me up.”

“You’re my Baby. Anything happens to you….” Dean trailed off. 

“Exactly. And because you do all that for me, I’m at my best. Just like?”

It finally clicked into place. “Sam.” Baby patted Dean’s knee. “Because I’ve worked hard for him, he’ll be at his best. He’ll be….okay.” Dean smiled ruefully.

“Now you’ve got it, Deano.”

“Thank you.”

The men smiled at each other. A weight had been lifted off Dean’s chest. Sammy would be okay when Dean was in Hell. 

Dean’s good mood was ruined by the sudden appearance of The Trickster on the sofa across from the beds. “Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Now you’re gettin’ it!”

“Jesus,” Baby and Dean said in unison.

“Look who’s learned his lesson. I knew you’d get there eventually.” The Trickster smiled widely. “Oh. Should I leave you two alone? Was there about to be something dirty going on?”

Dean sighed. “You needed me to learn that Sam’s gonna be okay?”

“Yeppers.”

“Why?”

“The same reason I killed you all those times at the Mystery Spot, Dean.” When neither Dean nor Baby offered an explanation, The Trickster continued. “You both needed to know that he’ll be okay without you. It won’t be easy, and it’s gonna hurt, but Sam will be okay.”

“So all this is about Sam?” Dean tried to wrap his head around it, but wasn’t quite there yet.

The Trickster nodded, and Baby added, “It’s you worrying about Sam. Make peace with him being okay.”

“We’ll both look out for him,” The Trickster said. 

“Why you,” Dean asked.

“What can I say? I like you two.” The Trickster shrugged.

Dean looked around. “Where is Sam?”

The Trickster put up a hand to placate Dean. “Sam’s fine. He was fast asleep when I left him. And when I bring him back, he’s not going to have any recollection of this entire encounter. This was for you, not him. I’ll reset the day so you’re having breakfast again. It’ll be up to you to decide how much you want to tell him.”

“And Baby?” Dean jerked a thumb in Baby’s direction.

“Baby will go back to being your car. He’ll be an inanimate object, just like before.” 

Baby looked down, resigned to his fate. “Can’t say it hasn’t been fun while it lasted.”

“You two take your time,” The Trickster said. “Give me a shout when you’re done saying your goodbyes in whatever way you feel is best, and the day will reset.” With that, The Trickster vanished, leaving Dean and Baby alone again.

“So,” Baby started.

“So.” Dean looked at his hands. He didn’t know what to say. Thank you didn’t seem like enough for all that Baby had given him. He sat, conflicted for a moment and then looked up at Baby. Looked into his eyes and remembered their almost kiss and chuckled. “Don’t suppose you want -”

“Fuck, yes,” Baby said. He surged forward and grabbed Dean’s face and kissed him, pushing Dean back into the bed. 

Dean let himself be man-handled by Baby. Dean scooted up and toward the center of the bed, trying to fix the awkward angle they were in without letting Baby’s lips leave his. It wasn’t elegant, but they managed to scramble up quickly. 

Baby lay on top of him as Dean spread his legs to allow Baby to settle better. They kissed eagerly, enjoying the feel of each other. One of Baby’s hands slid down and tugged at Dean’s shirt, pulling it out of his jeans. Baby slid his hand up Dean’s torso, making Dean shiver with the touch. His other hand continued to cup Dean’s cheek tenderly.

Dean shuddered at Baby’s hand on his skin. He could hardly believe he was kissing is damn car. When Baby’s thumb swiped across his nipple, pebbling it, Dean groaned into Baby’s mouth. 

“The thing about me, Dean,” Baby said as they continued to kiss. “Is that I know everything you like. I know you like having your nipples played with. I know you enjoy giving head - doesn’t even matter if it’s with a guy or a girl - you. Love. It.”

Dean groaned louder and pushed his hips up into Baby’s. “Yes,” he whispered. He felt Baby’s cock rub up against his through their jeans and Dean wrapped his legs around Baby’s.

He rucked up Dean’s shirt and began kissing his way down Dean’s body. “And I know these things because every time you fucked someone in, on, or near me, I was taking notes. Paying close attention to what my owner liked.” Baby stopped and gently teased a nipple with his teeth, and Dean hissed, one hand going to Baby’s hair and giving it a tug. “Now that is something I like.” 

“Fuck,” Dean muttered. “If this isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever done…” He pushed himself up and began to claw at Baby’s t-shirt. “Off.”

He grinned down at Dean, cocking an eyebrow. “Sir, yes sir.” He pushed back on his knees and yanked his shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind him. He’d barely got the shirt off his fingers when Dean started on his belt. “Easy there, tiger,” Baby scolded. 

Dean ignored the jab knowing that Baby could go back to being his car at any moment. He made quick work of the buckle and unbuttoned Baby’s pants. Baby fell back on top of Dean and kissed him roughly while hiking up Dean’s shirt. He moaned wantonly as he nudged Baby’s jeans down over his hips and griped his ass. Baby sat back just enough for Dean to get the hint and Dean quickly yanked his own shirt over his head, tossing it in the same general direction of Baby’s. 

Baby sat back on Dean’s legs which forced Dean to sit up and touch him more. Dean wrapped his arms around Baby as they kissed again, more urgently. They flipped and and Baby wrapped his legs around Dean. Dean swore again and tugged Baby’s hair, exposing his neck. He worried the skin at the juncture of Baby’s neck and shoulder between his teeth, not doing any real damage, but enough to make him moan. 

Dean worked his way down Baby’s body, kissing and nipping as he went. At the top of Baby’s open jeans, he tapped Baby’s hip, a silent instruction for the man to lift his ass so Dean could pull the jeans off. Baby complied and once the jeans were off, Dean practically salivated at the sight of Baby’s cock. It’s long and thick with a thatch of black hair at the base. “Nice to see everything matches,” Dean muttered, giving the tip a quick flick of his tongue. 

Baby groaned again and desperately tried to get his jeans off his legs. He kicked at the air, his jeans ruffling as they made their way to his ankles, but not coming off. Dean chuckled,taking pity on Baby and pulling them the rest of the way off. Dean settled back in between his legs and wrapped his lips around the head of Baby’s dick, sucking lightly. Baby sighed and Dean sucked him almost all the way down to the root. 

“Jesus, Dean,” he muttered. One hand went to the back of his head, gently guiding Dean along as he blew him. Dean reached up to Baby’s hand, forcing his own head down, hoping Baby would get the message. When Baby brought his other hand up to his head, Dean hummed around Baby’s dick, and he bucked up into Dean’s mouth. Dean loved the feeling and soon he was grinding his hips into the bed while sucking off Baby. 

After a few more thrusts, Baby pulled Dean off his cock. “I’m not gonna last if you keep that up.” Dean looked up at him, lips swollen and covered in spit. “God you’re beautiful. Come here.” Dean scrambled back up Baby’s body and the two men kissed each other as if they were never going to get the chance again. 

Baby gripped Dean’s back, pulling his owner impossibly closer. He rutted up into Dean again and practically whined. “Get these jeans off,” he said into Dean’s mouth. Dean sat up and pushed his jeans down slowly, making a show of it. “Dick,” Baby muttered.

“I’m gettin’ there, Baby. Don’t you worry.” Dean smirked, continuing the slow slide of denim down his hips. His cock popped free of its confines, jutting straight out. He noticed Baby’s eyes flick down to his swollen member. “Like what you see” Dean teased.

“I’ve seen it before. A bunch of times, actually. I just really want you to fuck me with it. Like yesterday.” He noticed Dean hesitate for a second. “What? You’re in me all the time. You should be used to it by now.” 

“Fuck me.” Dean wasn’t sure he was ready for his car to just say stuff like that to him.  
What even was his life?

Baby pushed up on his elbows. “No, Dean. Fuck. Me.” He stroked his dick lightly.

Dean flopped on his back, kicking his jeans off as he did. He reached over to the nightstand where his toiletry bag sat and dug out a packet of lube. “Roll over,” he instructed.

Not only did Baby roll over, but he pulled his knees up so that his ass was in the air while his face still on the pillow. “Is that better?” 

Dean groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 

“But what a way to go.”

Scooting down the bed, Dean nipped playfully at one of Baby’s cheeks. He tore open the packet and drizzled some lube on his fingers. Baby squirmed in anticipation, inhaling sharply when the cold lube touched his entrance. Dean slipped his finger in just a little, listening for any changes in Baby’s breathing or any signs of discomfort.

“So help me, if you don’t get this going, I’m gonna rust right before your eyes.” Dean chuckled. “I can take it.”

Dean pulled his finger out a bit and thrust it in as far as he could go. “I don’t want to damage the seats, you know.” Soon, they had a rhythm going with Baby pushing back on Dean’s finger; and Dean decided it was okay to add a second. A little more lube and it slid in easily. Before he knew it, he was adding a third. 

“Please,” Baby said when he was about to add a fourth.

Dean pulled his fingers out and lubed up his cock. He stroked it a couple of times and then rubbed the head against Baby’s entrance. Baby shuddered and Dean slowly pushed into his car, gripping his hips tightly. When he was fully seated, he gave Baby a moment to get used to the feeling and then set a steady and forceful pace. 

Baby pushed up on his hands and met Dean, thrust for thrust. He bowed his back and tilted his head back as far as it would go. “Dean,” he whispered. “Yes. Fuck me.”

Keeping one hand on his hip, Dean yanked Baby’s hair. The sound he made was beautiful, somewhere between a groan and a sob. “You like that, don’t you?” His thrusts became harder.

“God, yes.” He twisted his head, not to get away, but to get more of pull on his scalp. “Love it when you push me, test my limits. Always so good.”

He didn’t release Baby’s hair, but instead snaked his other hand around to Baby’s chest and pinched his nipple. While he pinched, he pulled Baby up off the bed so that his back was to Dean’s chest. He held baby up, fucking him fast and hard. “Love seeing you like this,” he said into Baby’s ear. “Mine.”

Baby reached back at Dean’s hips with both hands, trying to make the other man fuck him harder still. “Yours,” he whispered as Dean let go and Baby collapsed face first onto the mattress. 

Dean fell on top of him, pinning him down. Dean’s hands slipped under Baby’s arms and pulled at his shoulders. Dean continued thrusting into Baby, holding him tight. “Beautiful,” he said into Baby’s neck. 

“Ungh. Dean. I’m gonna….Need….” And Dean rolled them to the side, still fucking into him. He took Baby’s dick in his hand and stroked him. “Yes! So good.” 

“Come on, Baby. Come for me. Wanna feel you.” 

Another few thrusts and strokes and Baby came, striping the bed as he clenched around Dean who lost it a few seconds after that. Dean gave a few more thrusts before he became too oversensitive and pulled out. 

“Damn,” he said, trying to catch his breath as he pulled Baby closer for after sex snuggles.

Baby didn’t protest. “Fucking a, Dean. That was probably the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“I’m hoping that’s the only sex you’ve ever had.” He splayed a hand possessively over Baby’s chest.

“Does you rutting against my back seat until you came in your pants when you were fourteen count?” He couldn’t see it, but Baby knew Dean was blushing. “Yeah, that totally counts. This was better.” 

“Dude.” Dean wasn’t sure if he was trying to scold his car or was angry at him for bringing up the memory. 

Baby turned to face Dean. “Thank you for that.” Dean was about to return the sentiment but Baby interrupted him. “Think we could get The Trickster to make me human on a regular basis?” He snuggled into Dean. “I need you to push all my limits from now on.”

Dean laughed and kissed the top of his head. “I’m glad we had this. Not just this, but your making me see -”

“You’re welcome.” They were quiet for a moment when Baby added, “Just try not to think of this moment the next time you’re pumping gas, okay? Can’t have you popping a boner at every Exxon-Mobile station you stop at.” 

Dean laughed. He and Baby slowly drifted off to sleep, each man grateful to the the other for the time they had together.

~oOo~

“Time to go, Sammy,” Gabriel said. 

Sam nodded forlornly. “Alright,” is all he said as he waited for Gabriel to do whatever it is he does to put him back where he belongs. 

“You’re not going to remember this. But I will send you back with a sense of ease.” Sam was about to protest. “Not too much. The world still needs Sam Winchester fighting the monsters out there.” Sam blushed. “Just enough so that you won’t do anything reckless.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. This was nice.”

“Yeah, it was, Sammy.” 

“I’ll miss you.”

“No you won’t, kiddo.” 

Gabriel snapped his fingers and Sam returned to the time just before The Trickster showed up the first time, memory wiped.

~oOo~

“So get this,” Sam said. 

Dean jerked and dropped the breakfast sandwich he was holding. He shot up and rushed to the door, flinging it open.

“Dean?” Sam trailed after his brother.

“Baby,” Dean said as he laid eyes on the Impala just outside the motel room door. He approached it with caution, hand outstretched to touch it lightly. He circled the Impala slowly looking for any signs of damage.

“The car is fine. I just took it to the deli.” 

Dean shook his head as if he were in a fog. “Yeah. Sorry. I just had a feeling, you know?”

Sam laughed. “I swear to god there are times I think you love that car more than me. Now come on. I’ve got a case.” He went back into the room.

“What he doesn’t know, right?” Dean said to the car. He waited for some kind of response but realized how stupid that was. He turned to go back inside when, out of the corner of his eye, he caught Baby’s headlights blink. “Don’t worry, Baby. I’ll push you the next open road we get.” The headlights blinked one more time.

Dean smiled widely and closed the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to [Powerfulweak](http://powerfulweak.tumblr.com/) for the beta work. 
> 
> And a super huge thank you to [Trickster88](http://trickster88.livejournal.com/) for the awesome gif sets and the request that Baby insists he be called Baby. Plus, I think we can all agree that we'd like to see Dean Winchester and Damon Salvatore fuck it out.


End file.
